Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The Kindled Spirit

Travel Journal day 2

The temperature was 105 the day I left, Oct. 1, it had been going on high summer since July, the temperatures soared and seared, hiking only very early, rattlesnakes, then no hiking. My spirit had been cooked, this is the time I should have closed the beast, the computer.

Help was coming one day late...

We arrived here just outside of Yosemite, up Tioga Pass no clouds, cool, cold, freezing, high altitude. Well there was one cloud, the black one I brought along. I found my usual carefree manner, the one that feels best in nature, the one I offer to the trees, the land, these high peaks somehow stinted.

Before I left I lobbed an incendiary, words that hurt, and they did hurt..........me. I came here where the aspens are turning, the light so beautiful, trout are feeding next to the coots in the small lake examined myself and read this and it explained a lot, I'll just leave it at that. I ask myself do I care what others are doing, I do not, don't look.

I'm taking a vow and swearing before you, the next time I've had my e-fill I'm closing my shop, they should have recess mode, healing mode, I won't be playing words with friends, I will get out the scrabble board and the dictionary.

Fire as metaphor..When you find yourself sitting around a campfire, efire or otherwise and you feel the smoke headed in your direction, shut your mouth and move away.

Chop wood, carry water, towhee practice.

I put the Virtual You down read this, this and listened to this while we drove, mended. It was a lovely trip, pictures to come. I made some new friends, had coffee with Ann in her travel trailer, her Dogs Morgan and Tilt and Valerie who spends her winters in La Mission, Baja a place I know well having spent most of my summers growing up there.

I am home, the weather is cool, my house, laundry, small dog are clean, brain, clean. I started a little studio work yesterday, it felt good the familiar, the metal responding just the way I wanted it to.

I hope you are well too, yours, sincerely, Ro




15 comments:

  1. xo from the prairie, dear lady

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    1. Self forgiveness, it's not easy being me.

      I'm sure it's not easy being anyone for that matter :)

      With troubles of the heart I think it's best to just come clean.

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    2. I like the title you gave this post...been thinking about it for the last few hours.

      Self forgiveness, indeed. A gift we deny ourselves, or deny that we need. But something we must practice, or we begin to lose the very essence of our selves,

      And so important to a kindled spirit....

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  2. Morning, Ro,

    Glad to know you are home and rested, your heart soft and true. And such a beautiful fire...

    I'm also glad you could close shop and get away. It's hard, this crazE-world we live in, an insidious kind of crazy!

    We are of similar minds: I recently finished The Shallows by Nicholas Carr. Bit of a dry read, but it helped name the general discomfort I feel with most things E. (And I, too, said some things, the 'warmth of vindication' cooling even as the whoosh of outgoing mail faded...)
    Sigh. It is so easy to lose our balance in this tangled web. But the fact that none of it sits easy is, to me, a comfort. It means I'm still here; I'm still trying. I haven't completely disappeared into the void.

    And neither have you.

    Have tremendous week working with your cleansing flames!

    xxx

    "When...you feel the smoke headed in your direction, shut your mouth and move away..." Yes! So simple. So true. SO could have used that last week when my E-big mouth was WIDE OPEN!

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    1. ...speaking of E-big mouths...*laugh*

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    2. Gosh Ash aren't the simplest things so complicated? I had a good "shake down" out there freezing, ahhhhh freezing, who could think to pack gloves when it's 105!

      xo

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  3. It's as if you were tapping into what I'm finding is universal...were you reading my diary?

    Lovely read, Ro, and I really appreciated it. :-)

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  4. I was jealous when you shut it down Dawn, I should have too!

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  5. sweet, sweet Ro, how appreciated you are, you in your fragile humanness...honest and true. Funny how a come to your soul meeting in the mountains always heals~ (me too. I call it getting mountainized.) I need it, crave it, and will always love it. While some need an outside voice telling them what and when to do, how to feel, how to act, its refreshing to still yourself, and let your heart and soul just be.
    May you never loose sight of that. xo, dear friend.

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    1. Well said, Deb--I like that "come to your soul meeting" image--rings so true!!!

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    2. You are so right Deb, Landized, be it desert, mountain, ocean shore, somehow it always feels so right!

      "soul meeting" YES!

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  6. Hi Ro- bird.

    I missed you, you beautiful soul, you.

    I'm glad you're back.

    I don't want you to be hard on yourself. It's our ability to be human, that makes us so special and so lovable ;-). Besides, I like to think of each one of us as "a work in progress.".

    xxxooo

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  7. You are always so kind Mrs. and lovable. I do too, think of ourselves as a work in progress sometimes we flail, struggle, doubt, the layers peeled back, sometimes it feels right to sit in quiet meditation, those are the times I'm going to take a break.

    xoxoo

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  8. I think that a purchasing of this book is in my future. I know you express that you got burning hot, but know that I think you're one of the most reasonable grounded women whose words I read online. I like coming here where your sensibilities feel very aware and grounded in good. Xoxo

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